So, here we are in Florida, my husband and I. His company sent him here for the week, and I being lucky enough to join him, jumped at the chance. After-all, I am a true adventure junkie. Traveling, going new places, exploring, etc., serves up it’s own type of high for me!
Our flight arrived at about 11:00 a.m., yesterday. We checked into our hotel, had a quick lunch, and then off exploring the beaches, some shopping etc.. After 2-3 hours, I asked my husband if we could head back to the hotel and rest for a while. He was shocked… I was shocked! Rest, on a vacation? What?! I quickly had to remind myself that I was recently found to be anemic. It will take about a week or two for the supplementation to work. I was feeling completely disappointed in myself that I did not have the energy to run around and do all the things I like to do while away from home. I told myself that I would get a good night sleep and have a busy, and fun-filled day tomorrow, so off to bed I went.
I woke this morning feeling extremely frustrated and exhausted. I had woke at about 1:00 a.m., with a terrible migraine headache. You know, the type that wakes you from your sleep every half hour of so. Although I felt disappointed I still planned my day to fit in as much as possible. I got dressed and ready for my day. My husband went to the lobby and had a very nice breakfast. We came back to our room to get the keys so that I could drive him to work and then have the rental car for the day. Before I got out the door, I told him that I couldn’t go. That I am just too exhausted and that I should probably stay at the hotel and rest for the day. That was very hard for me to do. I had to get honest with myself. I knew that if I pushed myself out the door to fulfill my need for excitement, that I would be setting myself up for a possible relapse. Fatigue and exhaustion are huge triggers for me. And of course, we all know what triggers do. And I’ll admit, that I have knowingly set myself up in the past with triggers not really caring if I accidentally relapsed. Yeah, right, I know.
So this is where the work comes in. Being thoughtful of myself enough to know my limits. I don’t like them, I don’t want to be held back and stay in the hotel all day. But, if I am truly going to practice self-care as a means to protect my sobriety, then that is what must be done today.
So, today I will rest. I will take care of myself because it’s important, I am worth it, and my sobriety depends on it.